The third at five

Dear Samuel,

In the span of your short life, you have struggled. You have struggled to breathe. You have struggled to behave. You have struggled to be heard. And you have struggled to find words for the depths of your heart.

I struggle now to find the words to describe to you how much, and just how, I love you.

The difference between our struggles, my sweet boy, is that you have overcome yours. You breathe deep and sure, not a scar left of your battle. You know how to behave and despite your struggles you are learning self-control. You know what you want and you are not easily influenced. And it has been an honor to watch your words start to connect to what goes on in your heart, the tenderness and peace that reside in you.

You are a champion. With God’s grace you have overcome so much in these five years, and I am so proud of who you are today.

I am happy to continue to struggle to find the right words for you, Sam.

I love that you are just, and although you confuse it with fairness at times, I believe that your concern for justice is God’s gift to you.

I love that your words always carry weight, for better or for worse, never spoken lightly.

I love your laugh, hearing it fills me with joy.

I love that you always surprise us with your smarts–you know so much!

I love that you hesitate with new things because you remind me of myself.

I love that you are a good friend, to your siblings and to your buddies.

I love how much you love toys.

I love how serious and reverent you are about the Lord. Every ounce of your five year old faith is in Jesus.

I love that you kill dragons and defend the weak. It may be pretend now, but you are becoming a warrior for the Kingdom.

I love you. I am thankful for your life. I am so happy to be your mom.

Happy Birthday, Samuel Mathias!